Question by mr clean: how do i catch a cheater?
my girlfriend(of 7 yrs)cheated on my almost 4 yrs ago. well i had my suspisions but never knew. unfotunatly i found out the truth. she finally told me that she didnt know if our son was ours until he was born(it was a blk guy im white and my son is white). now she is so hard to live with. could it be guilt, or what. i really dont want to end our reltaionship because i feel that our son needs a family, but is it worth living a life of shame because of what she has done. also she has been going out again, and it seems like she wants nothing to do with me. could i be taking her actions wrong or is she cheating on me again. what do you think?
Best answer:
Answer by confused
i think shes a cheating whore and you need to end it… you can still see your son without having to live with her
Give your answer to this question below!.
She may be cheating on you again, as sad as that is to say. Remember that it takes two people to be in a relationship, not one. The best way to catch a cheater is to be in places that you are not likely to be, and to come home at times that you are not normally there.
i say give her space and lose some interest in her as well. When she sees you’re not interested she’ll turn around and start asking why YOU want nothing to do with her. Then you can tell her how you feel. Hang out with the fellas and get some opinions from them too. If she goes out, ask her if you can accompany her and see what she says.
don’t continue to live like this it will just get uglier.
7 Years and a son and no marraige proposal……hmmm…speaks volumes to me. You can still see your son and be a great dad to him without her in your life. Maybe you can even get full custody…..get the ball rolling!!
Why don’t you just ask her outright if she is cheating. She owes you the truth. I say this is not a healthy realationship you are in. I say leave her and you can always see your son. She needs to grow up and realize that cheating is never ok and expecially lying about it and having a baby involved. Not a good thing. That means she is also not being very smart not using protection which als can mean she can possibly bring home std’s or scarier yet Aids.
She doesn’t exactly sound like your best friend and close lover. What is the point? It is better for your son to come from a broken home than live in one. You choose how you want to be treated. If you want a wife who is an equal partner in the relationship, I suggest you go find one. Whether or not she is cheating, she is obviously not putting her marriage or her son as her priority. What do you want in your marriage to be happy? Why is she going out without you? Yikes. Check her email.Check the history on the computer. Watch for different/new/odd behavior and stupid lies. Most cheaters do not want to get caught and work very hard to cover it up. Check her cell. Look at her actions. Worry more about what she does than what she says. If you know something is not right, then ask her what she needs to be happy and whether she wants out of this marriage. I don’t know what she is looking for, but until she realizes she won’t find it outside her marriage and that is probably in her own head, your marriage cannot prosper. I would rather have no relationship than a rotten one. Sorry for you to be going through this.
Is she bipolar? Research bipolar symptoms.
Be careful. She is trying her best and so are you. If the child was not involved, you could easily walk away. How do you catch a cheater–my answer is to look in the mirrow–no pun on you.
I THINK U SHOULD JUS TLK 2 H3R BOUT IT && JUS L3T H3R 3XPLAIN 2 U && T3LL H3R DAT U JUS WANT SOM3THIN S3RIOUS && DAT U DNT WANT H3R 2 B GOIN OUT WIT OTH3R GUYS!..&& JUS B HON3ST WIT H3R && T3LL H3R HOW U F33L!!!
That really depends on what you want to do.
You have to ask yourself if you love her enough to endure this and do you want this child to belong to you and to be raised by you or not.
There are lots of issues here and I have actually known someone who went through this. It was very painful for him. He wanted the boy to be his so bad, but it wasn’t. Our whole family wanted it to be his, but it wasn’t. When he made the break, he cried a lot for a long time, but he left before the child was old enough to remember him. I don’t know if he regrets it or not.
That is something you need to search your heart about. You don’t need to be the one living in shame. You have not done the wrong. Yes, you could be taking her actions wrong. I just don’t know and anyone here will probably say the same thing.
I have great empathy for you.
May you be guided in the right direction for your own peace and that of your family.
She’s definitely cheating on you. The main reason you should know it’s true is because you’re suspicious. You know she’s not for you and that you don’t love eachother.
If you love your child, then you and your child should get the hell out of her life!
A few weeks ago i was listening to the radio late at night. I live in s Jersey but at night i can listen to NYC radio. There is a guy who wrote a book on cheating…i wish i could remember his name. Men are as faithful as thier options.I have been with my wife almost 17 years, When we first got together I played around. now she is all i think about.I cant imagine being with another woman.
Women cheat for reasons different then men. Sometimes its because something is missing and a new lover can give her that spark again. If she gets angry with you when you talk about her cheating..i mean real angry its a good chance she is at it again. New hair style? new perfume..Does she accuse you of cheating ?. sometimes a woman thinks that if her man might be cheating she is going to cheat also. Do you feel the same pain you did back then ? listen to your heart..it dont lie. Ladies before you say i am all worng…maybe you are the 80%-90% of the women who dont cheat. Good for you. Your heart is in the right place. Myself i did not care much about the sex…I had that…I loved the chase. But no more….17 years and i am still IN love with my wife. I wish you the best. Dont live a lie. Many couples have a great relationship after divorce,They become good friends and better parents
Follow your gut instinct. I found that everytime I had that gut feeling I was right. My wife cheated on me 5 times (Yes i’m a dumbass), and I busted her each time. The best way I caught her was I went to Radio shack and bought and thing that plugs into a phone jack and the other end into a small tape recorder mic jack. I bought a small recorder that had VOX and plug it into a jack I installed in the basement. Whenever I was gone I’d gone down stairs and hit the record. Any call is then recorded. Now beware!!! Your gonna hear shit you don’t want too. To not give away your device you can’t act differently. I’d hear my wife slamming me and lying, but I had to act like I didn’t. When you get the evidence, don’t tell her how you got it, you may need it in the future.
Most likely she is cheating again, she is going to put you trough this until you get tired and decided the hard way what to do, why did she cheat on you? did you ask her that? well many people have a reason like getting back at their partners for them doing it first..but if this isn’t your case then the best thing for you to do is leave her, but try to get custody of your son if she is going out and partying maybe the child is better off with you.. just in case that she is cheating you should start to document and getting proof of her activities you will need this for court in order to get custody, follow her if you have to proof she is unfaithful, do what ever it takes to get the child, I am so sorry for the child and for you.. she is very selfish and may not be a good mother if you leave.. get ready for the worst for now just watch her, observe her and document prepare your self mentally for this think of your child. good luck.
that falls completely on you: do you think you can trust her? can both of you give the relationship 100%? is there hope for change in her in the future?
only you can answer that question. if you respond based on answers here, you will always second guess yourself, and question if you did the right thing…
open your eyes and really think about what you want and deserve out of life. its really YOUR decision , cause you gotta live with it..
I would be a good father, but how much are you supposed to take from her? Dont you think you and your son deserve better? Your son will still have a family cause you will see to that. As for her? She blew it, and doesnt deserve any sympathy. Yeah shes cheating, start a new life.