No doubt, to find out that you have been cheated upon is tough. But dealing with infidelity also requires you to be strong so that you can move on to lead a happier life. You can grieve and feel wronged, but once all the crying has been done, you need to lift yourself up and move away from anger and bitterness, not only for your cheating spouse, but also for yourself.
A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that cheating is a sin that can’t be forgiven. But you need to remember that to truly forgive is what will set you free from misery. Forgiving is as much for yourself as it is for your spouse. When you forgive, you set the motion to move away from the unhappiness and create a happier future for yourself.
Furthermore, if you want to remain together with your spouse, you need to forgive before you can try to make things better. Dealing with infidelity means you must be prepared to know what went wrong in your marriage and listen to what your spouse has to say about why he did what he did. It takes two to make a marriage work and you too need to care about your spouse’s feelings as he should care for yours during this fragile period. Listen with an open mind and do not be too defensive when your weaknesses are brought up. Also, do not accuse and be argumentative but simple state your feelings.
Arguing will get you nowhere if you truly want to work on your marriage. If you need the time to calm down and talk rationally, tell your spouse so. You do need the time to heal and you should let your spouse know that you are doing your best to put things behind you. Ask him to show you that he can be trusted again and work on the details to get the trust back. Discuss ways that can reassure you of your trust in him and rebuild it again since trust is one of the foundations of a marriage.
When an affairs happens, it does not necessarily mean that a marriage would end. A lot of marriages not only survived cheating but also emerged stronger from the episode because they were dealing with infidelity in the right way. That is why you should look at things positively too if you want to have a stronger and happier marriage after this. .