Question by Dave: How do you know if perceptions of infidelity are true or if you’re going crazy?
I’ve been having trouble distinguishing truth from what’s in my head… It would seem as though my wife is fooling around (not sex) with one of my best friends. Now I know when someone has strong feelings of infidelity, 9 out of 10 times they’re correct, but how can I tell if it’s really happening without asking? She would lie anyway. I might just be misinterpreting the vague signals though. I’ve made an accusation before regarding someone else, and I can’t keep doing that based on observations.
Best answer:
Answer by meme<33
if you feel it, its probably true
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If you distrust your wife that much, your relationship is already pretty awful regardless of whether she is cheating or not. So either get couple’s therapy or get divorced.
You wait and gather empirical evidence without prying or seeming desperate. Infidelities usually have a way of making themselves more obvious when the guilty party thinks you have no suspicions.
If he’s your best friend, he wouldn’t be “fooling around” with your wife. I’d dump the so called best friend in favor of my wife. If he’s your wife’s best friend, you need to either have a serious talk with your wife and your best friend or hire a good detective to find out the truth. You need to find out if this is in your head or real. Good luck.
I agree with Unnua’s answer.
You should confront her anyway. Tell her you’re not accusing her of anything (yet) but that you’re very uncomfortable with the way she and your best friend are interacting. Even if she laughs it off as you being crazy, if she loves you, she’ll put an end to whatever you’ve “observed”. She’ll make sure you’re always there whenever your “best friend” is around and not put herself in any compromising situations that might raise red flags… If she doesn’t do any of this, then yeah she’s guilty as hell and you should dump her.
You have trouble distinguishing realtiy veresus whats in your head because whats in your ehad is vivid images of something you are afraid of. You need to tell her about it.
If she tells you that it’s your problem, not hers, and blows you off – then chances are your correct in your assumptions that something is going on.
If she tries to work through this with you and stops contact with the other guy – than she’s probably not doing anything and cares enough about you to help with this.