Question by Jim: Is it possible to move past infidelity in a relationship? Any ideas for how to trust someone again?
I’d like to stay with her if I can move past this. I just get physically ill when I think about it. Any ideas?
Best answer:
Answer by FLIKNCLINT
basically mate – go out and root some young thing – you have the right to even the scoreboard!
once you have had an affair with someone, you’ll feel much better, coz now you are even – you are both guilty of the same thing, so you can start again.- or decide whether you want to – it’s only fair that you go and cheat with someone else – otherwise this will eat you up….
Give your answer to this question below!.
Some people can some cannot. the person who cheated has to regain your trust and put your mind at ease. If they can’t it won’t work out.trust is regained by the actions of the person who betrayed you, they would have to show a heck of allot of remorse, and they would have to let you know that they knew what they did was wrong and that it hurt you and that they were sorry. depends on their reaction when you confronted them, if it were remorse, and genuine feeling hurt that they had hurt you, it might work, but if they show no remorse or try to blame you for what they did it can’t ever be mended.
I agree that you should even the score board but your woman should be aware of it the WHOLE time you are doing it.
Also, once you bang this other woman, you will see that it’s just sex. Knowing that is both good and bad, however. You won’t really care if she humped some other guy, but you won’t really care if you do it again either.
If it were me, I would tell her she has 36 hours to produce a decent looking girl that will even the odds. This will most likely be one of her friends. When you do the friend, make sure you REALLY rock her world.
I will now tell you what I did for real, however, the advice I gave is what I wish I would have done.
I lost 30 lbs, hit the gym with extreme discipline and within a few months the wife and I became swingers. I had sex with 62 women for a total of 241 sexual encounters. Many of the women my wife never knew about. I got VERY good at it. I then found the most amazing looking woman to bed and had a full on affair with her. I fell in love… then I was the one with the broken heart.
Now I get to see her on almost a weekly basis. Beautiful, strong, sexy, wild… perfect. I see her, but she stayed with her husband. She is still a swinger, so apparently he still hasn’t figured out how to please her enough. Either way, I ended up losing. So don’t fall for any woman again. Bed them and leave. You can’t trust them. They either sleep around or they don’t like sex. Yeah, there are one or two who will sex their man hard and still stay faithful… but you can also find the winning lottery ticket on the ground too…. in other words, it’s too big of a long-shot to attempt to find a woman who is both.
You need to think what you’re doing right or wrong. Be honest to yourself and think with your head and not your heart. Trust do not develop in one day, but once you broke that trust, its difficult to gain that trust again it just needs time, but on the other hand, you also need to know what it takes to built that trust.
hm well what are the circumstances? I know its probably hard to talk about and stuff, but every situation is different. I think that if she is truly truly sorry and wants to be with you, and you still want to be with her, you can get through this. but it will probably take a long time for you to completely trust her again. i believe that people can change if they want to though, so if she is really sorry and wants to change and be committed to you, I think its possible. And if she is sorry, forgive her. Its awful what she did, but if you love her, you’ll forgive her, and if she loves you, she’ll try to make your relationship work and try to be a (much) better girlfriend. but the issue here is (at least mostly) her, so its her that needs to want to change and work at this. God bless~
I wouldn’t ever trust her again. I also wouldn’t stay with her. I would keep her around while searching for a new girl to replace her.
Also the guy had good advice, don’t fall for someone… easily. You can’t block yourself to the world. Love exists. You must find it in yourself before you find it in others.