Question by Michael: Is there something wrong with me that I can’t get over my partner cheating on me?
The cheating started about a year and a half ago – she had four affairs in that time. I obviously gave her a few chances, now we have been apart for 3 months. We were together for over 4 years. I am just completely out of my mind over it all. I feel like I never want to be in another relationship.
Best answer:
Answer by Tryna-Hyde
it’s hard but you have to learn how to let go. sorry.
What do you think? Answer below!.
It takes a long time, especialy when someone cheats. I was engaged for 3yrs to a woman who cheated on me, took about a year to get over her. Eventualy I did, and met some very nice woman. The best turned out to be my wife. Just takes time to heal, sucks, but that is the truth
There is nothing wrong with you. Its a feeling that you can’t cope with. And its going to take time to let go of her. Give it time and soon enough things will get better. My belief is that everything happens for a reason, and my prespective is that God has a plan for you. And for her to. Maybe she wasn’t the one for you at the moment. But soon enough someone will come along and treat you how your supposed to be treated. And it may take a while to do so. But everything turns out ok in the end. My best of wishes to you. through this horrible time.
theres nothing wrong with you it just you are still in love with her and its gonna take you a while to get over her but apparently it wasnt ment to be and you will get over her eventually and the right person will come along
you will heal in time…. believe in yourself….. u will find true love in time u cant make someone love u or honor,respect, cherish u as you do for another when you find this form in another person that will be your true love… move on in life shes the one with the loss in this big world
sometimes you stay on, just because neither person gets up and walks out. You could be the proactive one here. In time, you will find someone to start over with. Even if you dont (sorry, worst case scenario!) what you need is to respect yourself and stop being a doormat.
As well you should be!! The best part about your added details IS your OUT of that relationship..And you know what?,,you probably still on occasion think about if you did enough while in it..Am I right? Sure I am.. Its human nature..Believe me,,you were being used.. And that’s that..Now, about the future,,your going to feel that way for quite a while..You’ve been burned badly!! You know you deserve much better,,and believe me also, you will find better.. In fact after you do,,you’ll question how you even thought twice about your former experience..Right now,,you need to start picking out things you enjoy doing ,and start doing them.. At first you won’t really be into any of it.. But with practice and doing new and different things,,this will get behind you,,and you’ll begin to see things differently..And guess what? One day you’ll meet another special someone,,and things will get really good for you again.. That’s if you want them to be.. YOUR choice!! You sound like a nice guy who wanted a relationship to work ,,and it just didn’t.. It happens,!! To some of us quite a few times..But life is worth living,,so carry on and be particular,,on who you hook up with,,and make sure they want the same things you do.. You’ll be fine.. Good Luck!! SOLOMON
The last thing you want to do is throw yourself away. Not just because you don’t deserve that but also because you don’t want to keep yourself from somebody that will want to love you. Put yourself out there and know that you will have someone to love and love you back that is much greater than the crap you put up with before. Set your bar a lot higher and realize that you are better than how you were treated. There are some really cool girls out there and you will find one that fills you to a point where you won’t even remember how the pain you’re going through now feels. Take care man and don’t let this broken heart get the best of you.
No, there’s nothing “wrong” with you. But you do have a problem, and that is that you keep on thinking about it, your partner, what she did, how you responded, how you miss her, how you are angry with her…
You need to congtrol your unwelcome thoughts. And since you create your own thoughts, you can control them by kicking them out of your mind, revising them, substituting other thoughyuts, and so on.
Here’s the 4-S method of thought control:
1. Stop sign — When you sense a thought you don’t want in your head, in your imagination hold up a huge red stop sign, perhaps being held by a stern-faced crossing guard!
2. Shout it out — Shout at the thought, scream at it, curse at it, yell at it (all in your mind, of course!) until you can sense that it is leaving your mind. (The nice thing about the mind is that it cannot contain more than a single conscious thought at a time.) Treat it like an intruder in your mind, someone you DO NOT want in there! Get angry at it!
3. Substitute — Have handy a sentence or thought to put in the place of the unwanted thought. Make it something strong, something positive, something you really want to believe! (Some people carry such positive or self-encouraging thoughts with them, on 3 x 5 cards.)
4. Sustain — Keep at it. YOU CREATED THE UNWANTED THOUGHT FOR A REASON! (“Psychology of Use” says you think all your thoughts in order to get something from them!) As you kick the unwanted thought out the front door, it will turn around and try to sneak in a window or down the chimney! DON’T LET IT!
Keep repeating the four S’s until you find yourself to be in charge of the thought you don’t want. As you become more comfortable with this, you’ll find you are more in control of your whole mind, and also of your feelings.
By this time next week you will be much more in control of what you think, and what you do not allow yourself to think. If not, then you’ve decided that these “unwelcome” thoughts are, in fact, welcome, and that you do not want to change them, control them, or get them out of your head.
There’s nothing wrong with you, except some impatience.
It hasn’t been very long — 3 months.
Give yourself time; try to distract yourself so you don’t dwell on it. Be with people you like.
It would be a BAD idea to rush into another relationship. Give yourself time.