Question by Amy Clark: quick need some advice : to catch a cheater?
earlier i posted a few posts about how i suspect my dh is cheating on me. Well like I suspected- when he came home tonight from work he asked if he could go out for a couple of beers with one of the guys from work. When I asked what time he said, “oh around 8ish” and he told me the bar they are going to… well last night when mystery woman called and he walked into the other room i overheard him saying, “8” and then he gave her our address and directions to our house. He knew I was going to be gone at my moms with our daughters this evening helping her get turkey ready for tomorrow. So supposidly “she” will be there to pick him up from our house in 40 minutes. I’m planning on following him to see if he’s really being honest with me- but how do I go about it? We live down a private drive on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs- so sitting on the street would be obvious- and there arent any streets to park on. I’m afraid he isnt really going to the bar where he says so I dont want to
go to the bar he said he is going on. I doubt he is going to that bar- let alone going with the guy from work. Anyways- need some advice quick before I leave.
I do have to run home and get oru grinder and some other things- i just thought maybe me showing up would be too suspicious… like if i dont find much out tonight or dont have concrete proof- i dont want him to know i suspect anything is going on- then he will just try harder to not get caught. Make sense?
Best answer:
Answer by janine o
Borrow someone else’s car so he won’t know it’s you behind him. Park on the street off of the private drive, and pull out a couple of hundred feet behind him.
Add your own answer in the comments!.
Hmmm…go to the bar instead maybe? or ask someone u can trust to go to the bar and chk him out for u to c he’s there or not
Why not just show up at your house just before 8…and see what happens.
There is no reason to follow him around town.
If he has told you one thing, and then a woman shows up..that should be proof enough for you.
Has your husband explained who this mystery woman is?
You live on a cul-de-sac, so you need to go out of the cul-de-sac and park on an adjacent street (preferrably behind another car) where you can see the car leave the cul-de-sac. Then follow at a safe distance. He thinks you’re at your mom’s and at night you can’t really tell what kind of car is always behind you. Good luck and let us know if you pull it off.
Or after you pull away to go to your mom’s. Wait until a few minutes before 8 and pull up in your neighbors driveway and when she pulls up and he walks out, then go over and confront them.
If you want to follow him do you have any friands who would you? If not let him leave and then youleave. Or you can call the bar and ask for him. I hope this helps you.
Just call the bar and ask for him and when he isn’t there you can ask him about it and see what he answers. Perhaps he is going to that bar with friends and it is innocent but he didn’t want you to think that he is cheating so simply said it was with the guys. You can find that our by calling the bar to see if he is there or even just drive through the parking lot at 9 r 10 and you may be able to see inside to see how he is acting without being seen. The fact that he cheated once already though means he may well be again. you can also use a sample of his handwriting to check on the site I will give you and that may tell you a lot about him.Good Luck to you!!
Before you go out and borrow someone else’s car…Have you thought of what you will do if your suspicions turn out to be true?
My grandma used to say that if you don’t have a Plan B, you shouldn’t go out and act on Plan A.
Good luck, anyway. Sounds like he’s up to no good. Sorry.
borrow a friend or family members car so if the car is spotted he wont think anything because it wont be your car. or have a friend or family member ask to join him, a cousin, a brother or something, someone he likes and gets along with, if he refuses then something strange is going on, if hes going to hang out with guys then one more guy shouldnt be a big deal.
Park down the street and carry a miniature flashlight like a keychain one, and walk up quietly. If anything, they will be watching out and listening out for cars, not someone on foot. Take a disposable camera or camera-phone and take pics throughout it all. You may need the proof later. Good luck and BE CAREFUL!
So if you can’t borrow someone’s car to follow him . and if you can’t…. just give him enough time to get to the “bar” and go in there or have some one you know go in and scope it out.
Do you have access to an unmarked car? Do you have a friend or relative that he may not recognize that can follow him?
At 8pm you may be able to use someone else’s car or a rental w/o being detected. If she’s driving he may not even notice that he is being followed and if so he may not want to alert the driver to it for fear of “outing” himself.
Or maybe let this incident go and plan for another time to do the stake out. Make him think that you are going to Mom’s again, drop the kids off and return. Cheating men are so stupid they never know what’s going down.
Hide out somewhere where you can see your house and watch for her around 8:00. If she shows up just pull up and go see what’s going on. Bust him in the act!
I woulda stayed home and messed up his plans.
Just confront them and DO NOT BE AFRAID.
Get a friend with a car he doesn’t recognize to come pick you up and drive you.
Show up at your house before 8…
well, somehow hide your vehicle and be home to see who he is leaving with. heres a question for ya. what are you gonna do if he is cheating?
do you own a camcorder? a vcr or dvd recorder? you can leave the camcorder plugged in for power and plugged into the dvd or vcr to record. let it run for a few hours and see what is going on when you aren’t home.
That’s what I do when I leave my teenage daughter home alone. sometimes.
I agree with Janine O. Or you can have someone else do it for you so he will not be suspicious. You can tape phone conversations with the memo button on the answering machine. Check that out for later. I cannot believe he is having her pick him up at your house. Are you friends with any of the neighbors? You can ask her to check it out also. If he is doing this it is like rubbing your face in it. I hope you are wrong but if not I hope that you catch him. Good luck.
I bet you are already gone, but I would for sure get pics. If you had more time, you could do a wig thing and try to change your appearance a little so you would be so obvious. Be careful and let us know.
Well, I’m sure that this event has come and gone already, but what I would have done was intentionally left something behind that I would need for helping out at mom’s. Then coincidentally show up at the time the woman is suppose to meet him. Why are you worried about it looking suspicious? If you’re worried about what he’ll be thinking, don’t! I wouldn’t give a crap how it looked, so you come back home because you forgot something, big deal. Hopefully you’ll catch him, give that woman hell for trying to pull a fast one and throw your man outta the house.