Question by Amy Clark: what are some general tell tale signs of cheating?
What are some signs of cheating? We don’t live in a state with EZ pass- and we don’t use credit cards or share a bank account. We don’t have cell phones either. Currently we don’t have the internet at home- he has it at work and I have access at school. So besides hiring a private invesitagator what are some ‘tell tale signs”? We also have children so following him and stalking late at night isn’t really an option!
Best answer:
Answer by CindyinAtl
Some of the most obvious ones can also be very innocent. For instance, working late all the time. He could have a legit reason for working late or he could be cheating. If he is doing this, try calling him at the office some evening when he is supposed to be there.
Another sign is that he is suddenly very interested in his appearance (if that’s not the norm). Of course, if you find lipstick on his collar, that will be pretty obvious.
There must be some reason you think he is cheating. Whatever that reason is, try to investigate it further.
What do you think? Answer below!.
Check for signs…like condom wrappers, or if you keep any at home, count how many are there. Keep track of them and when you have had sex. See if he acts differently when he gets home. Try to hug him and kiss him each time he returns home from work or other outings. Him denying you any affection should be enough to raise your eyebrow.
Why are you asking?
You must see something in his behavior, his attitude, activity around the house. Something is bothering you about him. Could it be you? What is going on in your life to think that your significant other is cheating? Does one of your friends have a cheating spouse?
What have you talked to him about lately? What are you sharing with him concerning your feelings? There must be something obvious about your response to his sexual interest in you. Can you talk?
Okay. The car. You may find something, you won’t know until you find it, in the car. You may find something in his pocket when you do the laundry. He may know of a new wine or he may kiss you in a different way. He may make excuses to go buy a gallon of milk or pack of cigs when you know they arn’t needed. He may have spent some money he couldn’t explain that you know about. He may have run into one of your friends and introduced her to someone he works with that you don’t know. He may be interested in a new religion or in reading something you find unusual.
None of this could mean a darn thing. It could be your own insecurity, going back to a prior relationship. It could be your own feelings of inadequacy at having gained some weight after having the kids.
What all this means is that you may need to buy a bottle or two of the wine he likes, and light the candles, and tell him that the two of you need to talk about where you are now in your relationship and where you see it going. Kids or no kids.
Don’t be afraid to go to couples therapy if it becomes necessary.
Cooling of affection.
Lessening of interest in you compared to how it used to be.
WARNING:
Some women drive their man away by too much complaining and constantly asking, “What you thinking?” That frequent attempt to dig inside his head begins to be annoying. If you are doing that, you need to ask yourself why you do it.
If he is cheating, there should be signs of money that can’t be accounted for. You say you don’t have a joint account so you can’t see what he is writing checks for. If you start asking too many questions and he is NOT cheating he will be angered by the suspicions.
I knew a nice couple who seemed to get alone fine and one day he told me he had to get away from her because when no one else is around she is constantly pursuing him to know where he is and what he was doing. (She never let us see that side of her so that tells me she secretly knew that was not the way to behave but she couldn’t control her insecurity) He would come home from work 30 minutes late and she would accuse him of seeing another woman with no reason or evidence. SHE DROVE HIM AWAY. I hope you aren’t doing that.
Also, if he is cheating, you can check the mileage on his car. It will most likely show more miles than it takes to get to work and home. Don’t just go by one day though, you need to go by at least a couple of weeks. Remember, he might stopping at the grocery or other necessary place so use judgment before accusing.
You say “late at night”. If he doesn’t work the night shift, he shouldn’t be out late at night. Tell him he should be home with his family so you know he isn’t cheating. Watch his reaction. Listen to his words. You might know from how he behaves whether your suspicions are correct.